Error! Report #075

Error! Report LogoIt’s time for another episode of Error! Report, this one brought to you by prom and cruises.

I don’t really have anything clever to say for this week. A lot happened over the weekend where I kind of forgot what we talked about. Anyway, I just remember spending time talking about terrible vacations, and Evan was talking about prom… did I dream that? I wonder if Evan is secretly like the biggest prom fan around and he wants to ask out this one girl that he’s best friends with, but she likes Kyle Larsen, the quarterback on the football team and doesn’t ever notice Evan. She probably sees him more as the quippy, sarcastic friend, but never the romantic type. So, she’ll take him shopping for dresses and he’ll go along with it hoping that she’ll finally notice him. There will be a dress montage and a moment where she comes out in a beautiful dress, the music will die down to a soft melody and Evan will tell her how beautiful she looks. It’s a moment, and he savors it.

But it’s over too soon as she gets a text message from Kyle Larsen saying something like, “let’s go to a party, yo,” and Evan will tell her not to go because it’s a mistake, but she doesn’t listen. She gets drunk, Kyle Larsen gets drunk, and Evan is hoping nothing terrible happens. After an intense, dramatic moment Evan will save the girl from Kyle Larsen’s drunken shenanigans and she’ll finally see Evan romantically. They’ll go to prom together and have a terrible time, because let’s face it: prom is the worst thing ever. Maybe they’ll have some awkward sex and realize that they were better off as friends, but it’s too late because you can’t come back from that. So they drift apart and Evan becomes harder and more cynical than ever before. The end.

Now listen to the episode because none of that actually happens.