Media coverage from cynical bastards since 2011.
Remember Me is the kind of game that should be desperately trying to please you. It’s an Uncharted-style adventure-platformer with stylish, combo-driven, character action combat. There are a handful of “run away from the camera while the ground crumbles beneath you” segments. It’s about 6-8 hours long on average. It is the very definition of a linear, guided, cinematic experience.
And yet, around every corner, Remember Me doesn’t really seem to give a shit about what you think. [Read more...]
If there ever were a game worthy of the “diamond in the rough” moniker, it’d be Metro 2033. Based off the Russian novel of the same name, 2033 debuted back in 2010 seemingly out of the blue, but quickly turned into a bit of a cult-favorite. Caught off guard at the game’s success, Metro: Last Light has clearly been given a good deal more in the way of funding and support from THQ (and eventually Koch Media), and it shows. Metro: Last Light is a good follow-up to 2033, but it definitely feels changed in ways that aren’t always to its benefit.
Let’s say that the first Dead Island was a survivor of a zombie apocalypse. He wasn’t the ideal survivor, but he had his quirks. You may not have wanted to stay around him for too long, so after you worked together for about 15-20 hours you left to go find your friend named Skyrim. Two years after leaving him, you decide to go back and find Dead Island, but all that is left of him is a shambling corpse that goes by Riptide. [Read more...]
I’ve never been much of a drinker. I mean, I’ve had a beer or two on occasion, but I’ve never really been in one of those situations where I just compulsively need a drink. I started playing Star Trek and was having a pretty alright time with its subpar co-op, third-person shooter action. Then Kirk uttered a line about how he was frustrated with the number of locked doors along their path. It was meant to be a quip, delivered by the dashing action hero and used to lighten the mood in a desperate situation. But this line only frustrated me. I hate it when characters call out flaws in a game’s design in an effort to brush them off; it’s as if the designer knows the game is terrible, and wants to joke about it with the player. I had a pack of PBR sitting untouched in my fridge for a pretty long time. It’s no longer there. All that’s left are a few crushed cans and a crumpled up cardboard box sitting in the corner next to my trash can. [Read more...]
To begin, I would like to say that this post will contain a fair amount of spoilers so read at your own risk.
Bioshock is not just a game. It is a masterpiece in storytelling, as you have likely heard from many other critics and review sites, such as our own. This is not to be debated; it is a fact set in stone no matter what reality tear you are in. As I write this my mouth is still agape from the ending events and how complex and astounding they are. With the concluding events now behind me and the intrigue of forthcoming DLC on the horizon, I became curious as to what Irrational Games could possibly do. While I would like to obviously see new vigor’s and weapons, I am far more curious with the story and where it could place players within the floating skylines of Columbia, and with whom they would come to interact with. Following are a few hopeful wishes for the DLC and how it will further come to shape Booker, Columbia, and all of its inhabitants.
In another life, things would probably be different. In another life, we might be somewhere else, someone else. But we’re forced to live with the hand we’re dealt, and there’s no changing that. Or is there? It’s hard for Bioshock Infinite to cast itself away from the shadow of its predecessor, mostly because of how strong the narrative of the original Bioshock was in its day. Bioshock Infinite quickly relinquishes itself from the shackles of just “going through the motions” and carves out a unique place all its own. [Read more...]
I won’t mince words here: StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty completed floored me upon its release in the summer of 2010. Aside from its poorly written tale, Wings of Liberty epitomized the best aspects of the RTS genre to the tee. Everything from the stellar mission design (which perfectly mixed approachability, challenge, and variety), the balanced multiplayer, and the custom game possibilities came together to make the best RTS in years. Naturally, I have been extremely excited for Starcraft II’s first expansion, titled Heart of the Swarm, which features a campaign focused on the Zerg. The expansion hasn’t turned out to be anything revolutionary, but in this case it’s hardly a bad thing.
I played through The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct in one sitting. It wasn’t because I was having fun with the game, or because I had a large amount of free time I could devote to it. I played it through in one sitting because it was incredibly boring, incredibly short, and I wanted all of it to end as soon as possible.
I don’t like horror games. Or maybe I do like them, but I don’t like the idea of being scared. Either way, horror games and I don’t necessarily mix well. Logically, this means we should create a video series where I play a bunch of horror games for your amusement. [Read more...]
I had a pretty bad experience when I first played the new SimCity. It all started late Tuesday night after I got back from a particularly long and stressful day. I heard tales of how no one could activate their game, and some stories of people not even able to access the game itself because of the game’s always-online DRM model. I put all those stories out of my head and began installing the game. Not too long after that, I hit the big, fat play button on the main menu and attempted to access the servers. No dice.
