What happened last week? Who “won” E3? How many #dankmeme pre-orders did each press conference get? Find out on this week’s Error! Report!
When I first saw the trailer for Hyrule Warriors in a Nintendo Direct, I had no idea what to make of it. It was The Legend of Zelda, my favorite series, mixed with Dynasty Warriors of all things. Not that I have a problem with Dynasty Warriors – the combination just seemed so… random. But I figured, hey, it might be a fun, fanservice-filled waste of time to whet fans’ appetites for the actual Wii U Zelda game. Thankfully, I was a little off on that assumption. It wasn’t just some cash-grabbing combination of two unrelated franchises, but a labor of love that expertly blends the two styles into one fantastic experience
On the morning of my fifth day with Tomodachi Life I booted up my 3DS and started the game. During the initial load a light caught my 3DS at just the right angle and I saw myself through the glare. Eyes drooping, mouth frowning, I looked into the mirror of my soul and wondered why. Why was I so desperate to see what my Miis were up to? Why won’t Chie and my look-alike start dating? Why does Evan like sports? Why is Michael upset? Why am I so set on checking my Island every 30 minutes for something new to do?
The Wii U has been a real bummer of a console, that’s no secret. Fans keep saying not to write it off just yet — there’s another game coming just around the corner that will be so great, just you wait. They said that game was Super Mario 3D World, a pretty cool Mario game that sometimes felt like a retread of old ideas. The same with Pikmin 3, Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze… (Is that actually it? That can’t be all of them.) New Super Luigi U? NES Remix? — Seriously, what else was there? Oh, The Legend of Zelda Wind Waker HD, right, yes, of course. That’s a killer lineup worthy of any console. The point is the Wii U is stagnating. It doesn’t know what it wants to be or what that GamePad is for besides maps and other trinkets that unclutter the TV screen.
Hey, have you heard about Tomodachi Life? Maybe you have. It’s a quirky life simulator from Nintendo, headed to the 3DS later this year. Kinda like Animal Crossing, but with more user creation tools and agency. Yesterday, after some protestations, Nintendo explained that you wouldn’t be able to have a homosexual relationship in the game.
This is a problem.
The reasons that its a problem are, to me, obvious. The decision is needless and alienating. The statement in Nintendo’s press release is also one of the slimiest things I’ve ever seen emerge from a video game company. Thousands, if not millions of Nintendo fans will be poorly represented.
Here are five arguments I’ve seen in favor of Nintendo, and I’d like to address just why they’re all bullshit, one by one. Good? Good.